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Jailed Saudi Men Blame Burqa Wearing Cock-Tease

A GROUP of Saudi men jailed for flirting have claimed they were driven to it by a provocatively dressed woman who flashed the bridge of her nose at them.

Faisal Iqbal, 24, said the woman was wearing a sexually alluring burqa with a mesh face grille which was so revealing that nothing was left to the imagination, not even nostrils.

He said: "I see everything – eyebrows, eyelashes, almost all of her nose, front teeth, the lot. She like dirty porno girl out of Hustler.

"I go in frenzy and start sing to her the Barry Whites. I read about women like this in the dirty books but never expect to see one in flesh."

He added: "I sing 'Take it off babe…take it all off…I don't wanna see no niqab…I don't wanna see no hijab…because, baby, this night, we're gonna get it on' and I thrust the hips.

"She scream out, police grab me by testicles and I end up in dungeon in Riyadh with truncheon stuff up arse. Sideways. If she not up for it, why she dress like dirty slut?"

The men were arrested by Saudia Arabia's religious police, the highly-trained 'mutaween', who specialise in hunting down rape victims, witches and women drivers.

They are now investigating the allegedly flirtatious woman. If convicted she will face the traditional Saudi punishment of being run over by a solid gold Bentley.

 

French Scientists In Flubber Breakthrough

A TEAM of French scientists is claiming a major breakthrough in the development of a useable type of flubber.

The researchers synthesised a flubber-like substance and were then able to stabilise it for almost six hours before it bounced out the window.

Professor Guy Delafarge said: "Zis is ze first time we have been able to stabilise a substance which is, how you say, 'floobberie'

"During ze stabilisation period we were able to manipulate it in ways which could, ultimately, have everyday applications, such as draft exclusion or love making.

"However ze substance remains, how you say, ticklish and too much contact will make it bounce around ze room, destroying many glass beakers and test tubes and causing everyone to duck."

A useable strain of flubber has been the Holy Grail for chemists since the substance was discovered in the 1950s.

But flubber's unstable nature led to a series of accidents and by 1970 the vast majority of 'flubboratories' had been closed down.

Testing restarted five years ago when French chemists found that adding small amounts of friendly bacteria could induce short periods of calm in a medium-sized blob.

Professor Delafarge added: "Zis was an important breakthrough, but ze question remains: Can we ever really tame floobber?"

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