THE prime minister is stamping out all joy by banning smoking from pubs. Is this because he himself has never felt comfortable with pubs or fun?
Hannah Tomlinson, dance teacher: “Literally, he is exactly who you go in the smoking area for a fag with your girls to get away from.”
Tom Booker, stage manager: “I reckon we can zoom in on the exact moment, May 1984, Leeds University, This Charming Man on, quiff bobbing, when Starmer’s mate refused him a Silk Cut and he vowed revenge.”
Steve Malley, biscuit technician: “He would buy his round. I’d give him that. Then stand there sipping a half as you yearned for him to leave.”
Jo Kramer, trapdoor operator: “Angela Rayner will be caught breaking this smoking ban law the weekend it’s introduced. This is entrapment.”
Carolyn Ryan, personal assistant: “Finally an issue I’m in complete agreement with Farage on. So this is what it’s like, being old.”
