A MAN applying sunscreen to his girlfriend is struggling to balance the competing pressures of his arousal and her need for UV protection.
Josh Hudson and girlfriend Grace Wood-Morris were spending a day on the beach when she set off both his libido and his protective instincts by stretching out and asking him to rub sunscreen in.
He said: “She’s asking for sex, right? That’s what this means. But what if she’s actually asking for sunscreen?
“It’s a minefield. I’m touching someone basically naked who I want to bone, but if I turn this into an erotic massage I could be responsible for her getting sunburn.
“My girlfriend is a funny, intelligent person but she is also, right now, a wall on which I’ve got to apply a layer of undercoat. But a sexy wall. The situation’s not helped by the areas I’m most keen to apply lotion to being those which will remain covered.
“I can’t risk getting too into it. This is a public beach with loads of people about and I’m in trunks. I’m a hard-on away from going on the sex offenders register.”
Wood-Morris said: “I applaud his careful attention to those delicate areas of skin most likely to suffer damage from deep UVB rays, such as my tits.”
