RYANAIR and Wetherspoons are fighting each other while rolling in filth and shouting incoherently, all over a couple of cans of lager. 

The two lowest-common-denominator giants began arguing about who was allowed to have the lagers and are now throwing inaccurate punches at each other on the pavement.

Earlier Ryanair, represented by a red-faced Irishman who would charge you for taking a piss if he could, faced off against the scowl-faced pub chain Brexiter who treats bar staff like his f**king slaves.

Wetherspoons said: “F**k off with your two lager rule. Be having two and more on the plane, eh? Getting mortal then, won’t you? They’re mine.”

Ryanair replied: “Not… f**king coming on this f**king… plane that pissed mate. No pissing way. If there’s lagers I’m having them.”

Wetherspoons then answered ‘bollocks you are,’ shoved his rival, fell over, and they have since continued punching and slurring abuse in the wet dirt.

Witness Tom Booker said: “I expect they’ll soon decide they’re best mates.”