EXPERTS have upgraded their estimates on rising sea levels, predicting they could submerge Ronnie Corbett within a decade.
The previous worst-case scenario involved melted glaciers lapping around the chin of Taxi star Danny DeVito.
Now climate scientists are warning that humanity is facing the loss of not only DeVito, but Holland, Norwich and a couple of thousand half-naked Samoans, as well as the golf-loving Scottish comedian and his beloved chair-based anecdotes.
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "The planet is now so toasty we will almost certainly lose an entire generation of stars under 5' 6"
"Joe Pesci – gone. Dustin Hoffman – gone. That bloke who played the angry dwarf in Lord of the Rings – gone."
Last year the Jaws and Close Encounters star Richard Dreyfuss paid $2 million for a pair of titanium stilts while members of Jockey Club are to stage an all-Jockey version of Bugsy Malone in a bid to raise enough money to build tree houses for them and their tiny families.
Meanwhile the Institute has published a revised sea-level scale, starting with Kenny Baker, the little man inside R2D2, and rising through DeVito, Corbett, Tom Cruise and the average Welshman.
Professor Brubaker added: "Unfortuntely Mel Gibson should still be able to breathe, though his nipples will get thoroughly drenched."
