Expensive German cars 'can probably drive straight through floods'

OWNERS of costly German cars confident they can handle a mere two feet of floodwater have been encouraged to test their belief.

Flooding across Britain has seen hundreds of warnings issued and motorists advised not to drive into floodwaters, but oddly no specific advice for owners of high-performance German vehicles worth £55,000 or above.

BMW owner Tom Booker said: “They’re not saying we’re an exception on the news. But then they don’t with speed limits, it’s just tacitly understood.

“It’s not just that my 3 Series is more expensive than these boxy little hatchbacks you see drifting down rivers whose hairdresser drivers should really have known better. It’s that I’m more important.

“The Teutonic engineers who crafted my car knew I was too senior a brand executive to miss meetings because of an ill-timed flood and will have anticipated that and countered it, in their clever logical way.

“Consequently this flood ahead of me, which has cowed other cars into turning tail and choosing another route, is one I can push straight through. Once I arrive safely at the office it will make an amusing and inspiring anecdote.”

Four minutes later, a sodden Booker stood by the roadside looking at his blinking hazard lights and added: “Oh shit.”