THE Earth can be saved from the damaging effects of climate change with a series of contraptions built by Wilf Lunn, it has been claimed.
A report by the Royal Society said Lunn's 20ft-long egg-boiling machines could be adapted to capture carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and then use it to boil millions of eggs.
A spokesman said: "We had almost given up hope on finding practical applications for geo-engineering when Professor Brubaker suggested that man with the crazy moustache from Vision On.
"We now believe Mr Lunn's theory of contraptionistics can be used to construct gigantic, Earth-saving machines, while at the same time ensuring an endless supply of delicious egg mayonnaise for the drought stricken regions of sub-Saharan Africa."
Early ideas include a series of vast mirrors in space to reflect solar rays, 50ft tall CO2 scrubbers to clean the atmosphere and a machine that prevents former US vice-president Al Gore flying half way across the world in a private jet so he can show his boring film to some hippies.
To promote their new report the Royal Society is to stage an exhibition featuring children's drawings of Earth-saving devices which members of the public can view while listening to some lovely guitar music from The Deer Hunter.
Wilf Lunn said last night: "I shall need a ping-bong ball, a candle, two cheese graters and 28ft of copper wire. And an egg."
Bill McKay, an environmentalist from Peterborough, welcomed the report, adding: "My wife is an absolutely colossal scrubber, but unfortunately she does tend to make things even dirtier."
