A COUPLE have won the legal right to be married in a British Scientology chapel, allowing Tom Cruise to be a best man for the 3,814th time.
Cruise welcomed the High Court ruling and will use Best Man Speech 267B, which features a inspiring story about the groom’s journey through the Ultima-Excelsium Quadrant of Xenu Thoughtscape.
It emerged the Mission:Impossible star has been best man at every Scientology wedding since 1998, after telling church leaders that ‘if there is righteous Scientology happening somewhere, I need to be in on it’.
A church spokesman said: “Tom loves nothing more than launching a young couple into married life. After the ceremony he takes them into a private room and stares at them silently while smiling, very very intensely, for exactly 58 minutes.”
Scientologist Joseph Turner, who was married in 2005, said: “I had hoped that my best friend from university would be my best man until the church reminded me that Tom Cruise is my best friend from university.”
