RICHARD Gere, aged 75, has given a gushing interview about being married to a woman 33 years younger. But is he glossing over the reality? Let’s speculate:
Rod Stewart and Penny Lancaster, age gap 26 years
Rod is still gigging at 80, so we’ll assume his body is largely functional. But the age gap must make shared cultural references a nightmare. He remembers the death of Buddy Holly; she can’t imagine listening to Peggy Sue for pleasure. She makes a hilarious reference to Captain Zep – Space Detective; he sits in blank incomprehension.
Richard Gere and Alejandra Silva, age gap 33 years
According to the hard-hitting journalism of Elle, the couple are ‘united by karma’. Not money, even though Gere now resembles your gran. At least, unlike Harrison Ford, he’s not perpetually disinterring his most famous roles. Though American Gigolo’s high-class male escort with erectile dysfunction issues would be, for older audiences, relatable.
Mick Jagger and Melanie Hamrick, age gap 44 years
For context, the gap between Mick and his choreographer girlfriend is the gap between the D-Day landings and Doctorin’ the Tardis being in the charts. He was doing LSD and banging Marianne Faithfull when Ms Hamrick was 21 years old. Most men his age have carers that are older.
Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, age gap 20 years
A surprisingly difference between Jason and model Rosie, who is only fractionally less good at acting. Maybe they’ve cracked age-gap relationships: no one notices if one of you is timelessly beautiful and the other has always been bald. The greatest tension in their relationship is the danger of having to sit through another Meg sequel.
Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, aged gap 25 years
The gulf became noticeable when Michael started to look in-a-care-home old as opposed to the middle-aged old he was when they married. Considering all they’ve been through – cancer, sex addiction, the remake of The Haunting – there’s clearly a bond. Such a shame Michael can’t be digitally de-aged in life as he is in Marvel movies.
Hugh Hefner and the Playboy Bunnies, age gap 50-70 years
He’s dead, but merits inclusion as a warning to male readers. By the time of his passing aged 91, sex with Hugh was a nightmare of tiring manual stimulation and cock injections. So if you’re planning to become a prisoner of your own public image as a suave playboy engaging in seedy polyamorous relationships with unenthusiastic women young enough to be your granddaughter, don’t.
Patrick Stewart and Sunny Ozell, age gap 38
Remarkably, Stewart is hooked up with a singer-songwriter almost four decades his junior. He’s five years older than her dad, which must be awkward. However in fairness Stewart is pretty well-preserved and has that Picard-Xavier gravitas. Maybe his Shakespearean charisma is irresistible to all women and he could easily pull Sydney Sweeney.
