NICK Knowles of DIY SOS is in trouble for allegedly referring to women from the North East as ‘munters’. But what are they and how valid is his claim? Nick explains.
What is a munter?
An unattractive person, usually a woman. Men often humorously say ‘I’ve shagged some munters in my time’, although if you think about it, that’s a bit of a tragic admission they can’t pull anyone attractive. Needless to say, I have only ever shagged total babes.
Why are you in trouble for using the word?
Apparently describing the entire 1.35 million female population of North East England as dog rough was offensive and not, as I had believed, a hilarious and wholly original joke.
How do you account for local beauties such as Cheryl Tweedy, Donna Air and, at a stretch, Vicky Pattison?
Not sure. Freaks of nature?
Aren’t you in a rather weak position to call someone a ‘munter’?
As a 60-year-old bloke who very much looks his age, you’d think so. But like all men, I have the right to judge women on their looks, even ones way out my league. That’s why men have earnest conversations about how we’d shag Margot Robbie but not, say, Emily Blunt, as if this is in any way a real dilemma facing some paunchy blokes in a pub.
What is the etymology of the term ‘munter’?
Various theories have been proposed, including a corruption of the Scottish term ‘minger’, the Australian slang ‘munted’ meaning inebriated, or the South African racial slur ‘muntu’, but let’s not dwell on that because I’m deep enough in the shit as it is.
Yes. Why did you feel the need to make this demonstrably untrue statement?
I was telling a young lady that she was the only attractive woman I had seen during my trip to the North East, as you do. With the benefit of hindsight I realise I could have made my point without referring to munters, which might have been wise because now it’s all over the Sun and the Mail and I’m engaged.
To a munter?
No. Luckily my personal attractiveness is higher than it would normally be due to being on a crap DIY programme. Think of it as getting a boost to your character’s ability points in D&D. If it wasn’t for DIY SOS I’d be wanking over Babestation in a grim divorcee’s flat.
Perhaps a factor in the widespread criticism is that ‘munter’ sounds horrible?
Now that you mention it, it does have a certain unpleasant onomatopoeic quality. I wish I’d given it this amount of thought at the time. Then I might have got on with asking Gabrielle where to put a serving hatch instead of attempting to flirt with someone young enough to be my daughter.
