THE UK’s debts and historically high tax levels could leave households unable to buy whatever they fancy, according to a new report.

Research by the Institute for Studies has found higher prices and mortgage rates mean formerly comfortable households are no longer able to have the lovely things they like so much, like high-quality granola or throw cushions.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Middle-income families face a dark age where they will see aspirational items in Sunday supplements and not be able to afford them right away.

“These are people who have done well, and yet they will be in last year’s Hunter wellingtons, bored of their furniture and forced to talk major purchases over with their spouse. Is that any way to live?

“It is essentially a John Lewis apocalypse except rather than eating our dead, we’ll be eating sandwiches we made ourselves.”

Sales manager Stephen Malley said: “I’ve worked reasonably hard all my adult life. In return I want is a big house full of the latest gadgets, a new car annually, holidays in hot countries, an enormous amount of golf and some cupcakes.

“If I can’t have all that, life is intolerable. I’m told there are people worse off, but they’ve never had Space.NK candles or lovely silken boxer briefs.”