AN 11-YEAR-OLD who is top of his primary school maths class is set to replace Rachel Reeves as chancellor, he claims. 

Josh Gardner of Kirkcaldy puts his pocket money in a piggy bank, consistently gets at least 18 out of 20 on tests and sometimes counts out change with his grandfather, making him eminently qualified for the position.

A Downing Street insider said: “Keir’s come to accept he needs someone better qualified than Rachel, and Tom comes home with a ‘Maths Superstar!’ sticker every other day.

“We’ve sent Reeves to China, where she’ll discover a class of eight-year-olds is better than her at calculating tax revenues and come home humbled and ready to learn at his feet. Especially algebra, which she’s never really got the hang of.

“He’s got a radical neo-Keynesian strategy to stimulate growth and increase fluidity in the money supply by allowing inflatables in swimming pools, which will boost municipal revenues by 6,000 per cent because all his mates would definitely pay a quid.”

Gardner said: “Everyone needs a job so they’ve got money to buy stuff unlike Jack Browne in year six who wears Asda trainers and we should all throw Wotsits at until he cries.

“What? I’m really right-wing, like anyone who can add up.”