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Five celebrities it will be weird to see as D-listers in 20 years

FAME is a fickle mistress, with even the biggest names quickly becoming non-entities. Expect to be weirded out when these ones inevitably become D-listers.

Taylor Swift

Impossible, you splutter. Taylor Swift is single handedly carrying the music industry and is the soundtrack for generations of women and their long-suffering boyfriends. Well, David Bowie was a big deal but even he had a rough patch and ended up appearing on shows like TFI Friday for attention, so it could happen. Expect to see her on Bake Off one day. Regular, not celebrity.

The Rock

The demise of the Rock would be surprising seeing as he appears to be in every other movie being cranked out at the moment. But what’s more odd is that he’s famous in the first place. He’s not really an actor and he’s no longer a wrestler, so why is he a celebrity anyway? Oh yeah, he’s intimidatingly hench.

Jennifer Lawrence

Hollywood’s favourite goofy pick-me girl is riding high at the moment, but who knows what the next two decades will bring. All it takes is a few box office bombs and she could end up as a last-minute booking on QI, desperately trying to win over the other panellists with tales of her former glory.

MrBeast

Beloved by Generation Z, mostly unknown by people who can remember dial up internet, MrBeast is the world’s number one YouTuber. But if the likes of Fred and Ray William Johnson are anything to go by, even the platform’s biggest content creators have an expiry date. Or at least you hope so, because you’re deeply jealous of Mr Beast for making billions out of stupid videos.

Tom Cruise

It seems unthinkable. But just as stars die and the pyramids are slowly crumbling into ruins, even a celebrity like Tom Cruise will eventually fall down the tiers of fame. By 2043 he’ll be an obscure answer in a pub quiz, and the Mission: Impossible films will look laughably outdated. Top Gun: Maverick will still be amazing though, that movie’s a timeless classic.

Winner-stays-on pool champion dies at his post after 30 years of back-to-back victories

STILL longing for a worthy opponent, the undisputed champion of winner-stays-on pool has died at the table after 30 years of victories.

Wayne Hayes began his winning streak during a post-work trip to his local pub in 1993 and has since played back‑to‑back frames against thousands of challengers.

Landlord Roy Hobbs said: “For three decades, this hero survived on pints of Tetley’s bitter and bags of scampi fries.

“His wife was desperate to have him home and conducted a nationwide search to find someone capable of defeating him. But even professional pool players could not beat Wayne on his home baize.

“There was a glimmer of hope in 2011 when he missed a difficult kiss shot into the middle pocket and sunk the cue ball. He came back from the foul to clear, but you could tell he was actually gutted as he’d caught a glimpse of freedom.

“Still, the rules are the rules, and Wayne would happily have taken a pool cue to the head of anyone who tried to kick him off before he had lost. God rest his soul.”

The pub has asked a local couple who placed a 20p coin on the edge of the table in 1993 to please come forward as it is their turn, but warned them that, due to inflation, a game now costs a pound.

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