PETER Mandelson has added the pathetic Lapland theme park to his list of businesses that must be saved.
The business secretary insisted the ludicrous attempt at recreating Santa's magical wonderland was essential to Britain's economic future.
He added: "Christmas is the most businessy time of the year and nothing is more important than Christmassy businesses.
"Future generations are unlikely to forgive us if we do not save at least one tawdry hellhole where they can dump their children for six hours while they continue their search for cheap alcohol."
But opposition parties said the government should not be in the business of picking business winners and stressed that the Lapland theme park was unbelievably pathetic.
A Lib Dem spokesman said: "It's basically two garden sheds and a stuffed badger with a Comic Relief nose.
"The 'elves' are obviously just drunk, angry Welshmen while Santa is a foul-smelling Polish gentleman who lets the children sit on his knee but then gives them a flyer for his plumbing business."
Other firms on Lord Mandelson's list include Corbett and Barker's Stationery and Saddle Emporium, the Coventry and District Pigeon Mart, Betamax Video Recorders-R-Us and the Daily Mirror.
