THE Commonwealth Games opening ceremony has left viewers phoning friends to make sure they saw the same thing.
As anthropomorphic teacakes danced around a huge snake with the word ‘Tyre’ inexplicably written on its flank, thousands reached out to family members or the emergency services for reassurance that they were not hallucinating.
999 operator Nikki Hollis said: “Our switchboards were jammed with people asking about John Barrowman driving around on the back of a monster truck with loads of tiny dogs and scampering scarecrows.
“I told them it was probably a latent memory of some Ken Russell film and to breathe into a bag until it stopped. Then I turned the telly on and saw it too, or at least I think I saw it.
“Maybe the government is putting chemicals in the water.”
58-year-old Stephen Malley said: “Personally I felt the ceremony was a brilliant representation of Scotland’s rich history of caning loads of mind-altering drugs.”
