Mark E. Smith celebrates 60th birthday with promise to be less mainstream

Media begin search for new far right nutter to turn into a household name

THE UK media are actively seeking a new braying, right wing idiot to feature over-prominently in news and current affairs programmes.

With Ukip and Nigel Farage looking just about spent, broadcasters agreed the time is right to promote some other ‘colourful’ jingoistic maniac, perhaps starting out as an ironic joke as a panellist on 8 Out of 10 Cats.

Within weeks, it is hoped the idiot will be making fortnightly appearances on Question Time.

Normal Steele, head of BBC News said: “We desperately want someone white, male and obnoxiously over-entitled.

“Ultimately, we need a smaller-than-life character who expresses the true spirit of England – someone who makes Farage look like Ken Loach. Please get in touch.”