Good Morning Britain strongly pro-Russian

ITV’S NEW breakfast show has been criticised for its uninspiring set, lacklustre interviews and pro-Russian bias.

70 per cent of news stories on the show, presented by Susannah Reid in a fur hat with a single red star on it, praised President Putin’s foreign policy, economic plans or all-around manliness.

An ITV spokesman said: “Good Morning Britain, which is simultaneously broadcast in the Ukraine under a slightly different title, had to get its financing from somewhere.

“The £6m demanded by Susannah Reid for her incomparable ability to talk was put up by a Moscow-based consortium which also had helpful suggestions on our editorial direction.”

The show’s first guests, captured Ukrainian nationalists who Ben Shephard questioned aggressively about their links to the CIA, were followed by a lifestyle item about how many vodkas is too many on the school run.

Viewer Tom Logan said: “The Cyrillic script scrolling across the screen can be distracting but there’s clearly some editorial independence or Susannah wouldn’t keep going on those unscripted rants about what a shithole Salford is.

“Laura Tobin’s weather usually has fewer drifting toxic contamination clouds, though it’s nice to feel superior to the poor bastards in the Sverdlovsk Oblast for a change, rather than just Scotland.

“And though Kate Garraway did say any Ukrainians supporting the Kiev regime are fascist agitators who should be shot, it wasn’t as openly biased as BBC Breakfast

Mills & Boon launches 'Robot Romance' imprint

ROMANTIC fiction publisher Mills & Boon has announced a series of stories about women being courted by alpha male-type robots.

The company, which already publishes romantic fiction under a range of sub-brands including Medical Romance, Historical and Intrigued By Anal, said that stories on its new app would have a suitably futuristic theme.

A spokesman said: “Women don’t necessarily want men any more, they want something that is like their iPad but with strong metal arms and a copulator cable.”

The first Robot Romance title, Circuits of Desire, follows the passionate relationship between a divorced fashion designer and a prototype lawn-mowing machine.

But in a tragic final scene the oblong-shaped hero, CX593RG4, dies of battery expiration after being flipped over onto his back by an inquisitive dog.