Dry January to end with man wetting himself

Trump unites shocked world in contempt for him

A WORLD of different races, creeds, and sexual orientations has come together to pronounce Donald Trump a f**kwit. 

Following tragic events in Washington DC, the Ozempic-addled president took the podium to blame the crash on whoever he did not like at that current moment without a shred of evidence.

Ryan Whittaker of Coventry said: “Sometimes the random cruelty of the world can seem impossible to understand.

“Then Donald Trump pops up during what is meant to be a solemn moment of national mourning with half-witted suggestions like the helicopter should have moved out of the way and you realise there are absolute truths, like what a opportunistic twat he is.

“Whether you’re a military veteran, a figure skater or simply a human capable of empathy, in that moment when he blamed DEI policies and backed it up with ‘it just could have been’ you felt the same disdain. So in a way he’s building bridges.”

DC resident Helen Archer said: “As a Trump voter, I urge us all to stop and share in this moment of mourning before scrambling to find desperate ways to justify his off-the-cuff bullshit and posting wildly about it on social media.

“Okay, that’s long enough, off we go.”