What sort of tiresome Farage-supporting twat are you?

ARE you determined to support obvious chancer Nigel Farage due to your tedious obsession with Brexit?

Read our guide to find out what sort of twat you are.

Whinging home counties retired couple

Brexit is an excellent hobby for comfortably-off retirees who, for some reason, are constantly fucking moaning. You are the sort of twats whose idea of a great evening would be having Nigel himself over to rant about political correctness and potholes.

Jolly xenophobe

People think you are being ironic with your constant references to the Nazis and cowardly French. But you actually believe Angela Merkel has conquered Europe without the loss of a single panzer.

Idiot with completely unrelated obscure grievance

You will definitely be voting for Farage and the Brexit Party because the last series of Doctor Who was not very good. You do not draw your curtains in the day and eat crisps for breakfast.

Just very, very gullible

In your blissful credulity bubble, Nigel Farage is a decent, ordinary guy with some great ideas. You’re also sending your fourth payment of £2,000 to a Nigerian scammer or encouraging your friends to get into Scientology.

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Legoland declares independence from UK

WITH a thriving economy backed by its own currency, Legoland is to leave Britain and apply for EU membership.

Legoland manager, or self-titled prime minister, Julian Cook said: “We have our own passports and a currency more valuable than the pound. No longer will Legoland live under the iron fist of the United Kingdom.

“Britons have been visiting Legoland for over two decades and will testify to the frosty reception they received from our proud, oppressed people.

“We’re assembling a standing army block by block just in case there’s any trouble and that should be ready for action as soon as someone can find the instructions.”

Many local residents have admitted that they are investigating just how long they would have to stay in the park to claim residency.

Stephen Malley said: “Everything is overpriced, the music is on a loop and drives you insane and everyone looks dead behind the eyes.

“I’ll be applying for citizenship as soon as I can.”

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