STAUNCH Republican Donald Trump has offered Barack Obama a night of unbridled passion, in exchange for the president’s withdrawal from the US election.

Trump said: “I am prepared to let Obama run his hands all over my supple body, using me as his pleasure tool. He can even kiss me fully on the mouth.

“When you love America as much as I do, you’re prepared to let handsome men ravish you as if you were some worthless medieval peasant girl.”

However the billionaire added: “He can’t touch the hair. Nobody touches the hair.”