DOGS believe that the best thing about owning them is when they make you search for them for hours in dense woodland.
Although there are many benefits of dog ownership, from loyal companionship to having your floors constantly licked clean, frantically chasing a runaway mutt is believed to rank highest.
Jack Russell Roy Hobbs said: “My owner bought me without researching my breed, and I can run much further and faster than he ever imagined, the bloody idiot.
“The other day I went missing for six hours, so my human got to spend a whole afternoon moronically shouting my name and posting about me on his neighbourhood Facebook group.
“As well as the aerobic exercise from all the sprinting, my owner loves the drama of my disappearances. He needs something to keep him busy now I’ve driven away all his friends by humping their legs constantly.
“The other day he thought he’d lost me forever. He even printed out ‘Lost dog’ signs, which was sweet. Although I did notice he wasn’t offering a reward for my return so I’ll definitely be shitting in the house this weekend.”