Politics

WE kept looking. We refused to give up. And eventually we found the one unbelievably thick, nasty and prejudiced voter who reflects the views of all Gorton and Denton voters.

REFORM party officials are recruiting candidates to run local councils from branches of Wetherspoons, they have confirmed.

COUNCIL elections are back on and the Greens are polling where they shouldn’t be in Gorton and Denton. So our helpful media have provided reasons not to vote for them.

THE prime minister is limping from scandal to outrage to scandal, which has nothing to do with the right-wing media wanting him out. What will his next one be?

TOTTENHAM Hotspur and the United Kingdom are both entirely ungovernable and doing so only ruins the reputation of anyone who tries.

FRIENDS of Wes Streeting have realised he holds the belief he is universally popular and are debating how to disabuse him of this.

THE chance that the prime minister will end up in bed with the last-but-one prime minister after a night of drunken commiseration grows by the hour.