Politics

We ask you: when should Rishi Sunak get his arse kicked at a general election?

THE prime minister has been accused of chickening out of calling a general election by Labour. When should he go to the country and lose?

Filling in forms correctly is woke, says Laurence Fox

Quick war with China to clinch election, decides government

THE government has decided to engage in a quick war with China to gain public support ahead of the election, it has emerged.

Let's forget about all those 'Vote Leave' signs in fields, eh? By a farmer

WE farmers are left with no choice but to protest at cheap, low-quality imports threatening our livelihoods. We’ve done absolutely nothing to deserve it, except that thing in 2016.

In a minute, WASPI ladies, I'm annoyed at a football kit, says Starmer

KEIR Starmer has told WASPI campaigners to bear with him because he is currently annoyed about a little flag.

Why Owen Jones is leaving Labour, by someone unfortunate enough to sit next to him on a train

YEAH, that Owen Jones? Writes for the Guardian? He’s leaving Labour, I know because I was on a table seat with him, Stockport to London. Never f**king shut up.

Obama pops into Downing Street to return Breaking Bad DVDs

FORMER US president Barack Obama swung by Number 10 yesterday to drop off the Breaking Bad DVDs he borrowed during his time in office.

Let's finish with a sexy prime minister, say Tories

RIGHT-WING Conservative MPs are secretly plotting to make Penny Mordaunt leader so the party can go out on a sexy high, it has emerged.

Gove accidentally names Diane Abbott as banned extremist group

Six ways in which the Tories qualify as extremists, under their own laws

MICHAEL Gove, better known as The Government, has redefined extremism so he can ban any political group he dislikes, including the Tories, on the following grounds: