Politics

BRITAIN’S armed forces are struggling to recruit which is probably because, though we freely admit we have not checked, the government is underpaying them?

NORTHERN Ireland’s power-sharing assembly is set to return to goverment after two years’ absence. What next for the region?

SENIOR Tories have called for Rishi Sunak to be ousted before the election, when he is going anyway. But who should replace him?

RISHI Sunak has clarified that when he stated yesterday that his Rwanda bill was ‘the will of the people’, he did not mean the actual people.

THE way the Rwanda rebellion talked itself up as a massive deal then fizzled away into nothing is also how Conservative MPs make love, their partners have confirmed.

OH bloody Nora, now I’ve done it. I’ve stood by my principles and done meself out of a plum job as deputy Tory chairman. Mother’s going to go spare.

ALL amendments tabled to the Rwanda bill by the hard-right of the Tory party are focused on Gary Lineker, their proponents have confirmed.

A NEW YouGov poll shows that not only will millions of idiots continue to vote Conservative at the next election, the party could win up to 169 seats.

RISHI Sunak has authorised British airstrikes on Yemen, because what kind of prime minister would he be if he left office without a few airstrikes?

NOBODY had heard about this terrible injustice until it was on telly last week, and now I’ve fixed the whole thing all by myself. Here’s how I did it.