ALI DIZAEI: WHERE HE WENT WRONG

Image

SHAMED police chief Ali Dizaei's attempt to frame an innocent man was littered with 'schoolboy errors', his former colleagues said last night.

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TEA PARTY ENDS WITH TRADITIONAL THROWING OF THE FAECES

ImageTHE American Tea Party movement closed its convention yesterday with a traditional throwing of freshly deposited faeces.

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CAPELLO OPTIMISTIC AS ENGLAND DRAW NARNIA

ImageFABIO Capello was in buoyant mood last night after England were drawn against the mythical land of Narnia in the 2012 European qualifiers.

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DIMWITTED MEDIOCRITIES 'NOT ABOVE THE LAW'

ImageDIMWITS and mediocrities too stupid to get a proper job are not above the law, according to a legal expert.

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TOYOTA URGED TO LEAVE STING'S PRIUS ALONE

ImageTOYOTA was last night urged to fix the brakes on more than 250,000 Prius hybrids as quickly as possible, except Sting's.

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AVRAM GRANT CONGRATULATED ON FANTASTIC WIFE

ImageFOOTBALL manager and brothel enthusiast Avram Grant has the world's finest wife, according to a new survey.

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THE NEWS IN PICTURES



Toyota owners get extra week
to drive like fucking maniacs

 


Greek finance minister runs
screaming from Gordon Brown
 

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News Briefly


Australia puts out call for fraudsters and safe-crackers
"Or high-end forgers and maybe even some cat burglars - anyone with a proper illegal skill," says immigration minister

Stop hassling Alistair Campbell, say homeless, grieving Iraqis
"All I've had to cope with is losing half my family and having my house flattened twice. I can't imagine the pain of answering some questions on the Andrew Marr programme," says Baghdad shopkeeper
 

Your stars: capricorn

 
fish

This week you arrive at the latest
roundabout in your life. I don't
suppose you could try indicating
for once, you fucking arsehole?


 
 
 

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