Politics

GORDON Brown today apologised for not being even more intelligent than he so obviously is.

GORDON Brown last night dismissed calls to surrender his £123,000 a year pension when he is forced to stop being prime minister next June.

LORD Mandelson has been given a resounding answer to his question of who the fuck Starbucks boss Howard Schultz thinks he is.

GORDON Brown last night ordered his minions to fetch him a fresh bank.

PRIME minister Gordon Brown is displaying the classic symptoms of recession, doctors warned last night.

CAROL Vorderman is to head a Conservative Party taskforce to help people work out if debt consolidation loans are really such a good idea after all.

THE government has written to the International Monetary Fund to ask it what its fucking problem is.

GORDON Brown yesterday said he warned of the financial crisis 10 years ago but did nothing to stop it because, quite frankly, he wants us all dead.

THE Labour Party was embroiled in controversy last night after another four of its politicians did absolutely nothing wrong. 

GORDON Brown is today hosting a high-level summit to discuss radical new measures aimed at helping him keep his job.