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TUC Raises Threat Of Winter In Majorca
HARD-pressed public sector workers have threatened to spend the winter at their apartments in Santa Ponsa unless the government improves its offer on pay and conditions.
BBC2 Unveils Plans For 'Nigella Lawson Eats A Banana'
TV food fans were celebrating last night after the BBC confirmed plans for a new series of Nigella Lawson Eats a Banana.
High School Musical Stars To Have Nipples Removed
THE teenage stars of the High School Musical phenomenon are to have their nipples removed with lasers, Disney announced last night.
One Woman's Week: Portrait Of The Artist
By Karen Fenessey
IT’S a sad day that sees artists with real integrity beaten down by loud-mouth sensationalists. This week, I have found myself in the same boat as the prominent female art lover, Tracey Emin, who has always struggled against the thousands of Philippines who want her silenced. And I have been seriously reconsidering whether I want to keep working at my school, if it means having to tolerate these imbeciles.
Cameron Shoots Toaster
TORY leader David Cameron last night sought to bolster his green credentials by taking his toaster into the street and shooting it at point blank range.
Pregnant Women To Receive Gigantic Carrot
EVERY pregnant woman in Britain is to be given a 16 foot-long carrot, the government has announced.
Nuclear Waste Makes Lovely Jam Says Government
WASTE from nuclear power is very tasty, spreads easily and makes a lovely jam for your toast in the morning, the Government said last night.
Al Qaeda To Rebrand As 'Scimitar3000'
THE world's leading terror provider is to overhaul its identity in a £20m rebranding strategy.