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Vatican To Build Huge Telescope In Hunt For Jesus
THE Pope has commissioned a $1bn super-telescope as the Vatican steps up its hunt for Jesus.
Lorry Driver Celebrates First Anniversary Of Overtaking Manoeuvre
LORRY driver Dennis Jackers was last night celebrating the first anniversary of starting to overtake fellow trucker Bob Mellows and the creation of a tailback described by the UN as a “crime against humanity”.
Guest Blog: Quentin Tarantino
I read an article in Time magazine about a year ago and apparently, okay, and this is no fucking bullshit - it's a fact that all women, and when I say all women - I'm talking Madonna, the woman who works in the 7/11 down the road, every woman who ever appeared in a Russ Meyer movie, those women you see carrying big jugs of water on their heads in Africa - okay, so you get the picture, we're talking all women okay - would rather listen to Johnny Cash Live at San Quentin than have oral sex with their husband. Fact.
Children Told To Sit Down And Shut The Fuck Up For 18 Years
CHILDREN should just shut it and do as they are told for once in their fucking lives, according to the results of a major academic study.
All ITV Shows To Be Based On Google Search Terms
ALL future ITV shows are to be based on popular Google search terms following the huge success of last night’s new primetime drama Billie Piper Dressed as a Whore.
Hay Wain Arrested In Naked Horse Furore
CONSTABLE'S masterpiece The Hay Wain has been arrested in central London amid claims of nude horse exploitation.
Giving Birth 'A Doddle' Says Government
CHILDBIRTH is to be made longer and more painful amid fresh claims it has been 'dumbed-down' to meet Government targets.