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De Burgh Concert Sparks Iranian Refugee Crisis

TEHRAN (Agence Mash-Presse): THE narrow, dusty road from Tehran to the Turkish border is normally quiet at this time of year.

Google Aims To Capture Market For Inaccurate Crap

GOOGLE is to create its own internet encyclopaedia in a bid to corner the growing market for online bollocks.

Capello 'Injured' While Signing Contract

NEW England manager Fabio Capello fell to the ground clutching his face while signing his contract today, claiming he was attacked by FA chief executive Brian Barwick.

Ulrika Jonsson To Learn Italian

FORMER TV weather girl Ulrika Jonsson is to begin a crash-course in conversational Italian, she announced last night.

Philip Letters Warned Diana About The Chinese

PRINCE Philip sent a series of crude death threats to Princess Diana which often included thinly veiled attacks on the Chinese, an inquest heard yesterday.

World Smells Better Than At Any Time Since 1850

THIS year has been the best smelling since global smell records began, the United Nations confirmed last night. 

Don't Shower With Your Turkey, Warn Experts

SHOWERING with your turkey could ruin Christmas, food safety experts warned last night.