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Lloyd-Webber To Play Pug-Ugly Composer In 'Hollyoaks'
ANDREW Lloyd-Webber is to join the cast of the Channel Four soap opera Hollyoaks as an incredibly ugly composer of terrible songs.
Cock Ban Looms
A BLANKET ban on cocks has been proposed as part of the government's crackdown on fucking.
BNP Man Woos Ballerina Away From Chink
BNP activist Richard Barnbrook is to marry beautiful English dancer Simone Clarke after rescuing her from the clutches of a slanty-eyed Latino half-breed devil, he said last night.
People over 30 are grown-ups, say experts
PEOPLE in their 30s and 40s are adults who are able to decide things for themselves, according to a new academic report.
Drivers Who Shoot At People From Behind The Wheel Could Face Jail
CARELESS drivers who take potshots at fellow motorists while trying to change gear could face up to three months in prison.
Lib Dems Are The Party Of God-Hating Perverts, Declares Clegg
THE Liberal Democrats are the party of God-hating sexual deviants or they are nothing, new leader Nick Clegg declared last night.
Men Buying Saucy Undies For Own Use, Says Report
NINE out of ten men buying women’s underwear this festive season are planning to wear it themselves on Christmas Day, new research shows.