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Tributes Flow For 'People's Pornographer'
THE worlds of politics and showbiz came together last night to pay tribute to Britain's greatest purveyor of mucky books.
Business As Usual For Russian Poisoners
RUSSIA'S new president has told the nation's army of poisoners it is 'business as usual'.
Big Rise In Women Getting Above Themselves
THE number of women getting above themselves has risen from 'all right love keep you hair on' to 'God, is it that time of the month already?', a new study reveals.
Keegan And Newcastle Pledge To Drive Off A Cliff Together
KEVIN Keegan and Newcastle have pledged to drive off a cliff together in a final act of sisterhood, rather than face relegation from the premier league.
Unexploded Plastic Bag Found In Town Centre
POLICE last night cordoned off an unexploded plastic bag in the centre of Norwich, as shoppers fled for their lives.
Radiohead Unveil Plan For Low Carbon Groupies
RADIOHEAD will only sleep with groupies who can produce a valid bus ticket to prove they used public transport to get to the after show orgy, the band said last night.
'I'm Just Like Any Other Millionaire Soldier Who Can Come Home Whenever He Wants'
ROYAL hero Prince Harry has spoken of his relief at being treated like an ordinary soldier who can come home whenever he feels like it.
GPs Urge Government To Confirm Online Banking Details
DOCTORS are urging the government to confirm its online banking details before account access is suspended.