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Sainthood For Woman Who Put Chocolate On Hobnobs
THE Pope is being urged to confer sainthood on the Scottish biscuit maker who first had the idea of putting chocolate on a HobNob.
Paul Mccartney Has Been Dead Since 1966, Claims Heather
PAUL McCartney was killed in a car crash more than 40 years ago and replaced with a hypnotised doppelganger, his former wife claimed last night.
Religious Belief Makes You Smile Like A Psycho Killer, Say Experts
PEOPLE with strong religious beliefs are more likely to smile at you like some kind of unhinged, homicidal maniac, according to a new study.
Monocle Grease And Penny Farthing Oil Removed From Inflation Basket
TYPICAL household goods including monocle grease and penny farthing oil have been removed from the basket of items used to measure inflation.
Guest Blog: Basil Brush
I say, do you know, I went into the local sweet shop to buy myself a quarter of everlasting gobstoppers the other day, only to discover it had been taken over by a bunch of foreigners!
Heather Mills To Strangle A Badger
HEATHER Mills last night celebrated her divorce from Britain's most successful jingle composer by pledging to throttle a series of woodland creatures.
Majority Of Iraqis Expect To Still Be Alive By Lunchtime
THE number of Iraqis expecting to still be alive by lunchtime has risen to an all-time high, an upbeat new survey shows.
Free Bank With Every New Mobile
COMPETITION has intensified in the mobile phone market with rival companies offering a medium-sized bank with every new handset.