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Chinese Gain Access To Vast Archive Of BBC Health Scares
CHINESE web users were celebrating yesterday after government censors granted them access to the BBC’s unrivalled internet archive of unusual animal stories and idiotic health scares.
Buy-To-Let Investors Age 1,000 Years In Four Seconds
THOUSANDS of buy-to-let investors are ageing 1,000 years in around four seconds after receiving the latest valuations of their rented properties.
One Woman's Week: Stars In Our Eyes
By Karen Fenessey
I BELIEVE that all humans are equal under the eyes of God, but there is one group of humans who are somehow more special: I’m talking, of course, about celebrities.
Smokers banned from looking at cigarettes while smoking
SMOKERS will have to hold a large piece of card over their face so they cannot look at the cigarette they are smoking, ministers said last night.
If Only I Really Was Stuart Little, Says Michael J. Fox
HOLLYWOOD superstar Michael J. Fox last night complained that he would have been cured of his Parkinson’s disease by now if he really was a mouse.
Werewolves Back Hybrid Embryo Bill
BRITAIN'S werewolves have thrown their weight behind the government's plan to legalise terrifying hybrid embryos.
Sharp Rise In Numbers Talking Absolute Shit
THE number of people talking absolute shit has risen for the tenth year in a row and is now at its highest since records began.
