Search Results for:
Bagpuss Clings To Power
BAGPUSS, Britain's leading fat, furry cat-puss, was last night accused of intimidating voters in his bid to remain the nation's favourite TV animal.
British media agrees to phased withdrawal of Diana stories
THE British media last night welcomed the Diana inquest verdict and called for the Princess to be laid to rest over a period of 15 to 20 years.
Tranquilisers Replace Television As World’s Favourite Childminder
CRUSHING anti-psychotic drugs into some yogurt has replaced television as the world's most popular method of child care, new research shows.
Heston Demands Right To Shoot Angels
DEAD acting legend Charlton Heston has launched a campaign for the right to shoot angels with a variety of high powered assault weapons.
Your Astrological Week Ahead
WITH PSYCHIC BOB
Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
Why not try something different this weekend. Visit an art gallery or a museum, and then get drunk and give a complete stranger a blow-job in an alley while he eats his chips.
Government Seeks Drinking Companion For Alistair Darling
THE government is offering £7 an hour to anyone who will have a weekly pint of beer with Chancellor Alistair Darling.
Naomi Campbell To Wrestle A Bear
SUPERMODEL Naomi Campbell has agreed to take part in a televised brawl with a bear.
Teleportation device not quite there yet, says disembodied head
STAR Trek-style teleportation is months away from becoming a scientific reality, the disembodied head of its inventor insisted last night.