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Big Brother Unveils All-Vegetable House
THE producers of Big Brother have once again resisted calls to introduce humans into the house, sticking with the all-vegetable format for the ninth year in a row.
Ann Summers Moves Upmarket With Crotchless Evening Gown
ANN Summers is moving upmarket with a new range aimed at the middle classes, including a stunning open-crotch evening gown.
How To Avoid Gerry This Summer
London: 5th June, 1939
THE Foreign and Commonwealth Office is advising British holidaymakers to steer clear of continental Europe this summer, warning that it may be full of Germans.
America Waits For Clinton To F*ck Off
AMERICA was waiting with bated breath last night as Hillary Clinton signalled she may be about to fuck off.
Mosley To Mount A Donkey Before French Grand Prix
MOTORSPORT boss Max Mosley is to mount a donkey before the French Grand Prix later this month.
Ryanair To Ditch Passengers In Mid-Flight
BUDGET airline Ryanair has vowed to maintain profitability this year, despite rising oil prices, by throwing passengers from its aircraft in mid-flight.
BBC Stars 'Obviously Paid Too Much'
ANY moron can see that Jonathan Ross and Chris Moyles are paid far, far too much, according to a major review of BBC salaries.
Terrorists Can Hold Their Breath For 41 Days, Claims Brown
GORDON Brown has quashed a backbench rebellion over the detention of terror suspects after revealing that terrorists can hold their breath for exactly 41 days.