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BBC Presenter Sacked For Not Using A Coaster
THE BBC has sacked a local radio presenter for not using a coaster in her own home.
Somebody sells a house
THE British economy turned a corner last night after somebody sold a house.
Fuck This, Says Attenborough
SIR David Attenborough said 'fuck this' last night after Strictly Come Dancing became the most popular television programme in the world.
22% Who Trust Politicians To Be Deported
THE 22% of Britons who trust politicians should be deported, it was claimed last night.
Gary Glitter Songs To Be Electronically Tagged
ALL Gary Glitter songs are to be electronically tagged and made to sign the sex offenders' register.
Alcohol to be restricted to nice people with degrees
ALCOHOL should only be available to nice people who know which wine goes best with fish, according to MPs.
Peaches Geldof To Get Playground Divorce
THE playground marriage of Peaches Geldof is over after just two and a half hours.
Monk Fight!
TOURISTS in Jerusalem were last night treated to one of the Holy Land's most exciting monk fights in more than 20 years.