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One In Ten Young Adults Begging For A Kick In The Teeth
ONE in 10 young unemployed British adults is so dissatisfied with life that they are just begging to be kicked in the teeth, new research suggests.
iPhones To Behave Erratically Once A Month As Jobs Turns Into A Girl
IPHONES and iPods will start to behave erratically once a month as Apple boss Steve Jobs slowly turns into a girl, it was confirmed last night.
UK Maths Failures Cost Economy Really Big Number
BRITAIN'S poor standards in maths are costing the economy a flabillion and one every year, a new report suggests.
Your Astrological Week Ahead
WITH PSYCHIC BOB
Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
You are feeling a surge of excitement about your career, and plenty of hope for the coming year. Ha ha, ha ha ha ha, ha ha.
Banks To Not Lend You More Of Your Own Money
BRITAIN'S banks are to receive more of your money so they can continue to not lend it to you, it has emerged.
Someone Apparently Taking Portsmouth Seriously
THE death threats to Jermain Defoe suggest someone may actually be taking Portsmouth seriously, experts said last night.
BBC Hails New Doctor Who As Much Cheaper
THE BBC last night hailed new Doctor Who Matt Smith as one of the cheapest young actors of his generation.
Knighthood For Child Who Made Own Bed Every Day For A Week
JACK Logan, the child who made his own bed every day for a week, has been knighted in the New Year's honours list.