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Voodoo Parents Object To Juju Assemblies

A SCHOOL headteacher has resigned after voodoo parents demanded the right to withdraw their children from assemblies that included juju.

Other People's Bonuses Are Morally Wrong, Says Everyone

LARGE bonus payments to other people are morally wrong and should be banned, it was claimed last night.

Would You Like To See Our Balls? Ask Jamaicans

THE men of Jamaica last night offered to show the world their incredibly healthy balls.

Tactical Genius Pockets £15m For Seven Months Work

LUIZ Philipe Scolari has once again demonstrated his tactical genius after pocketing £15m for just seven months work.

Britain Urged To Find New Reserves Of Spunk

AS the country faces a fresh wave of Arctic blizzards, Britain is being urged to tap into its massive spunk reserves.

 

Barclays Clearly Not Run By Bankers

BARCLAYS has finally admitted it is no longer run by bankers after posting an annual profit of £6bn.

 

England Beach Tour Interrupted By Cricket

SIXTEEN UK tourists on a Carribbean beach holiday have had their trip thrown into disarray after being forced to play cricket matches.