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Former MI5 Chief Finally Gets It
THE former head of MI5 last night finally twigged that thing the rest of us realised about seven years ago.
Britain To Become Bucket-Based Economy
BRITAIN is well on its way to becoming a largely bucket- based economy, it was claimed last night.
Tediousness Of Climate Change Pundits Underestimated
THE ball-wrenching tediousness of climate change pundits is worse than previously thought, it has been claimed.
Brown Demands New Bank To Destroy
GORDON Brown last night ordered his minions to fetch him a fresh bank.
Twelve Year-Olds Urged To Knock-Up Local Tart
DISGUSTING poor people across Britain were last night urging their 12 year-old sons to impregnate some local slapper.
Most Footballers Now Under Arrest
ONLY one in 10 professional footballers in England is not currently under arrest, the FA confirmed last night.
Batman Urges Batwoman To Do It With Catwoman
BATMAN last night urged lesbian superhero Batwoman to do it with Catwoman.