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I’ve Been This Unbearable Since I Was Eight, Says Winslet
OSCAR winner Kate Winslet last night revealed she has been this unbearable since she was a little girl.
Barack Obama Is Not A Chimpanzee, Confirms White House
AMERICA breathed a sigh of relief last night as the White House confirmed that President Obama is not a chimpanzee.
Facebook Abandons Bid To Copyright Your Tedious Existence
FACEBOOK users are celebrating after the social network abandoned its bid to copyright the mind-numbingly tedious details of your pointless life.
Not Even I Believe That Shit, Pope Tells Brown
POPE Benedict XVI has told Gordon Brown that he has believed some crazy things in his time but he's not buying that crap.
A Six Foot Tall Texan Cricket Lover Could Blend In Anywhere, Says FBI
SIR Allen Stanford, the six foot four Texan with an obsessive love of cricket, could be impossible to find, the FBI admitted last night.
He’s A Self-Made Billionaire And You’re A Sleazy Twat, Everyone Tells Mandelson
LORD Mandelson has been given a resounding answer to his question of who the fuck Starbucks boss Howard Schultz thinks he is.
One Woman's Week: Every Little Does Not Help
By Karen Fenessey
I DON'T understand people who complain about the snow. When it's perilous outside, I voraciously leap upon the opportunity to stay indoors and challenge my mind. It's precisely the attitude which spawned the likes of Russia's Dostoevsky and Scotland's John 'Logie' Baird. However, for some, heavy snowfall leads to voracious leaping of a far less noble nature and I'm ashamed to admit that one of these people is related to me.