Search Results for:
Teenage Yobs Carrying Flick-Toddlers
TEENAGE yobs have developed a deadly 'flick-toddler' in a bid to avoid prosecution, police warned last night.
Rats Desert Shit Government
A PROCESSION of Labour ministers and backbench MPs announced their resignations yesterday, like rats deserting an utterly shit government.
Your Astrological Week Ahead With...
Psychic Bob
Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)
Saturn hands you power and responsibility but Neptune keeps on undermining you by telling everyone you slept your way to the top. Which, let's be honest, you did.
Microsoft Games Controller Will Allow Everyone To Be Tedious
MICROSOFT has unveiled a hands-free controller X-box which will open-up the empty, soul-destroying tedium of video games to everyone.
Skips And Alleyways To Be Hit By London Mail Strike
A POSTAL strike across London could leave the capital's skips and alleyways with dangerously low levels of discarded mail, it was claimed last night.
Brown To Appoint Susan Boyle Tsar
GORDON Brown last night outlined plans for a high powered 'tsar' to oversee the regulation of Susan Boyle.
Ballack To Hurl Venom At Referees For Another Year
CHELSEA striker Michael Ballack has signed a one-year extension to his abuse-hurling contract, the club has confirmed.
Susan Boyle Going According To Plan, Says Cowell
FREAK-wrangler Simon Cowell has urged people across Britain not to worry about Susan Boyle, insisting everything was going according to plan.