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Mash Radio: Britain To Become Bucket-Based Economy
BRITAIN is well on its way to becoming a largely bucket- based economy, it was claimed last night. Press 'play' to get the Daily Mash right in your ears.
Huge Expansion In Rail-Based Misery
TRAIN operators are calling for hundreds of miles of disused line to be reopened, insisting no-one should be be allowed to evade the abject misery of local rail travel.
Waterboarding Comes To Center Parcs
CENTER Parcs, the market leading holiday resort company, has added waterboarding to its list of family-focused leisure activities.
Ronaldo Joins Queue For Paris Hilton's Vagina
CRISTIANO Ronaldo celebrated his record-breaking £80m move to Real Madrid last night by joining the early morning queue outside Paris Hilton's private parts.
Madonna Adopts Nick Griffin
POP icon Madonna has adopted the BNP leader Nick Griffin, describing him as the 'perfect addition' to her rainbow tribe.
Millionth Word Will Be Euphemism For Penis, Say Experts
THE millionth word to enter the English language will simply be another term for cock, experts confirmed last night.
Sacking Jonathan Ross Even Cheaper Than 40% Pay Cut, Say Licence Payers
YOU know what's even cheaper than giving Jonathan Ross a 40% paycut? Sacking the fucker, licence payers said last night.
Dream Doctor Toby: The Mystery Of The Dolphins...
Dear Doctor Toby,
I am in the ocean, it is sunny and warm and peaceful. I feel safe and relaxed for the first time in ages. Then a dolphin comes to see me. He is happy, and this makes me happy. And then his dolphin friends come and see me too and they form a circle around me, just below the water...