Search Results for:
Fred Goodwin Loses Mind
SIR Fred Goodwin was understood to have lost his mind last night after deciding to give up half his pension and leave his luxury villa in the South of France.
MPs Censor Expenses In Bid To Make You Forget
MPs have published a censored version of their expenses in the hope that you will forget you have already seen them.
Iranians Free To Exchange Meaningless Shit
BARACK Obama urged Twitter to postpone a planned upgrade so that Iranians could continue to exchange their meaningless thoughts about television programmes and clothes.
Fears 'Apprentice' Stars Could Breed
APPRENTICE stars Phil Taylor and Kate Walsh could be dangerously close to making numerous, smaller versions of themselves, experts warned last night.
One Woman's Week: Getting My Scapegoat
By Karen Fenessey
WHEN I was a younger woman, I flirted with the idea of getting into politics because of my diplomatic skills, impeccably high moral standards and vocabulary consisting of roughly a million words. This is why I cannot fathom how recent events have come to decimate our once so fabulous government.
Police To Question Long List Of Starlets Over Jewel Theft
DETECTIVES who questioned Lindsay Lohan over the theft of a £250,000 diamond necklace are to call in Scarlett Johansson and Megan Fox while they're at it.
Pathetic, Inadequate Banking Regulations Not To Blame, Says Darling
THE near collapse of the UK banking system had nothing to do with the piece-of-shit regulations that govern it, chancellor Alistair Darling will claim today.
Ba Offers Free Adventure Holidays At Airports
BRITISH Airways is giving UK tourists the chance of a free adventure holiday performing menial unpaid tasks at Heathrow's terminal five.