Search Results for:
Police 'Not Letting You Have A Go Of Their Tasers'
SENIOR police officers last night said there was no way you were getting a go of their tasers despite new data showing they are even more fun than previously believed.
Sarkozy Calls For Sexier Burkas
PRESIDENT Sarkozy has criticised the wearing of burkas by French muslims, insisting they stop people seeing what an incredibly hot wife you have, if you have one, which he does.
Charles Gets More Talking Shit Money
PRINCE Charles received £3m in talking shit money last year, according to latest accounts.
I'll Leave Britain For A Million Pounds, Says Everyone
IF the government wants to spend £1m getting one family to leave Britain then it should start with the people who have lived here the longest, it was claimed last night.
Your Astrological Week Ahead With...
Psychic Bob
Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)
All the computing power that first took man to the moon is now contained in your mobile phone. And all you use it for is to text inanities to your equally twattish mates. You arse.
Flood Warning As Peter Andre's Tears Form Pathetic Lake Of Sorrow
EXPERTS have warned that unless Peter Andre stops weeping over his divorce much of southern England could soon be submerged by his pathetic tears.
Man You've Never Heard Of Is Now Thing You Don't Care About
BRITISH politics was in turmoil last night after a man you have never heard of was elected to do something you couldn't care less about.
Hull To Buy Owen For Spares
Hull City are to buy Michael Owen with a view to breaking the player down for parts.