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Wimbledon Ditches Rules In Bid To Keep Munters Off Centre Court
THE All-England Tennis Club has scrapped its traditional rules in a bid to preserve centre court for pretty Russian girls with pert buttocks, instead of the ox-like munters who win most of the time.
Queen Demands Fancy New Hat
THE Queen is demanding a 20% increase in the civil list so she can buy herself a really fancy new hat and refurbish some of her old ones.
Fat People To Be Squeezed Into Camps
FAT people should be squeezed into specially designed camps so that children will not have to look at them, it was claimed last night.
Michael Vaughan Retires Again
CRICKET fans were shocked last night after Michael Vaughan announced his retirement for what they were sure was at least the fourth time.
Do not be afraid of shiny, yellow ball in sky, say experts
SCIENTISTS are urging people not to panic when a large, shiny yellow ball appears in the skies over Britain this week.
Working Immigrants Branded Lazy By Daily Mail
WORKING immigrants have been branded as 'scandalously self-sufficient' after £10bn in benefits went unclaimed last year.
Facebook Prisoner Goes On Virtual Murder Spree
A PSYCHOTIC convict has killed a dozen people on the social networking website Facebook by sending them a message saying 'Rob has just murdered you'.