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Dinner Party Craze For Premium Strength Lager

A NEW range of boutique 18% lagers are becoming the drink of choice for sophisticated urban professionals who really like a fight.

Fat People Unable To Count To Two, Say Experts

FAT people will automatically lose weight if manufacturers reduce the size of chocolate bars, according to the Food Standards Agency.

 

Scarface To Be Tolerated

MANIAC drug dealer Tony 'Scarface' Montana today welcomed moves to tolerate his murderous insanity.

Record Numbers In Denial About British Seaside

THOUSANDS of recession-hit holidaymakers are planning to ignore the rain, used condoms and one-eyed donkeys this summer in a desperate attempt to enjoy the great British seaside.

Doctor Who fans reminded that it's for children

DR WHO producer Russell T Davies has once again reminded the show's ardent fans that it is actually for children.

New Crackdown On Orange People

BRITAIN'S orange people are to be banned from enclosed public places under tough new laws, it emerged last night.

Your Astrological Week Ahead With...

Psychic Bob

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)
Break your dependence on homeopathy by drinking a litre of water with a trace of gullible moron dissolved in it. See? You're cured!

New Show To Follow Reality TV Producers Around

A NEW reality TV show will follow 10 reality TV producers around for three months to discover what on earth goes on in their minds.