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Opinions About House Prices Bounce Back
THE number of people with something to say about house prices rose by 15% in July, according to a report by the Institute of Chartered House Price Opinion Surveyors.
GM Food Could Devour Crows, Claims Benn
A NEW strain of genetically modified wheat can strangle crows and then harvest itself into a bowl of Cheerios, the environment secretary Hilary Benn has claimed.
MP Who Left Cancer-Stricken Wife For Mistress 'Did Not Break Any Rules'
THE Tory MP who had an affair while his wife was battling breast cancer last night insisted he had followed House of Commons rules 'to the letter'.
Australia Offers To Bowl Underarm
AUSTRALIA has offered to bowl underarm for the final Ashes test so they do not have to sit about for two days, waiting to catch their return flight to Sydney.
Tories To Launch Embarrassing Rashbook
A CONSERVATIVE government will set up a social networking site so that we can all read about each other's embarrassing diseases.
Mandelson Sells Country To Chinese Gangsters
LORD Mandelson has sold Britain to some Chinese gangsters in exchange for a fabulous London townhouse, it emerged last night.
Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper
Dear Holly,
Money is really tight at the moment, due to the credit crunch, and I was hoping you could offer me some tips to save money. Once I've paid my Sky subscription, stocked up on fags, and paid for my 20 lines on the National Lottery, there’s barely any cash left for other essentials, like the weekly payments on my plasma TV...
France Absolutely Reeks, Says Foreign Office
HOLIDAYMAKERS have been warned that Northern France is absolutely honking.