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Rural Folk Turn To Porn Pigeons
PEOPLE in rural areas with poor internet access are receiving their pictures of vaginas by courier pigeon.
Everyone Now Assuming You're A Kiddie-Fiddler
YOU look like you might be one of them dirty, horrid kiddie-fiddlers, it was confirmed last night.
Scientists recommend massive arguments
BLAZING expletive-filled rows ending with in one partner sleeping on the couch are good for your health, research has found.
Cash-Strapped Nasa Lands On Swindon
A MANNED mission to Swindon touched down successfully last night near the town's factory outlet village.
England Fans Begin Search For Places To Fight And Urinate
ENGLISH football fans were scouring South African guide books last night as the search began for the best places to fight and piss.
Jordan And Andre Granted Quickie Interview And Photoshoot
JORDAN and Peter Andre were yesterday granted a 'quickie' interview and photoshoot deal with Okay! magazine.
Beatles Video Game Brings Cutting-Edge Technology To Mid-Life Crisis
A CONSOLE game based on the Beatles is heralding a new wave in interactive mid-life crises for balding, insecure GQ readers, it was claimed last night.
Do We Really Need Doctors? Asks Britain
THERE were calls last night for a national debate over whether or not Britain really needs doctors.