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Trees Will Not Become Unstoppable Killing Machines, Admit Climate Scientists
TREES will not uproot themselves and embark on blood-soaked killing sprees by 2035, global warming experts have admitted.
Heathrow Staff To Giggle At Your Tiny Penis
SECURITY staff at Heathrow airport are today preparing to snigger uncontrollably at your small, sad penis.
Men Starting To Find Each Other's Breasts Alluring
GROWING numbers of men are finding male chest cleavage sexually appealing, according to new research.
Allow Me To Explain Natural Law, Says Celibate Voodoo Witch-Doctor
A VOODOO witch-doctor who regards his own genitals as a mortal sin, last night claimed to be the world's foremost expert on the laws of nature.
Brisk Start For Webuyanyfootballclub.com
FINANCE giants the You Corporation have reported brisk trading at a new business offering guaranteed cash in exchange for unwanted football teams.
Opponents of assisted suicide still convinced it's any of their business
PEOPLE who are opposed to assisted suicide are still absolutely convinced that it is any of their business, according to a new survey.
John Terry Had Sex With An Octopus
JOHN Terry's future as England captain was on a knife-edge last night after it emerged he had sex with a 12-foot octopus.
