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My Big Gap Year: The Athens Of The South

Despatches from Poppy Spalding

Friday: Greece

This week I'm in Athens, the ancient city responsible for PE, maths and classics and, without which, there would have been no need for me to attend fifth form on a Tuesday.

46 Year-Old Man Sells Virginity In Local Freesheet

A QUIET, middle-aged science fiction and traction engine enthusiast has advertised his virginity for £6 or nearest offer.

Avram Grant Congratulated On Fantastic Wife

FOOTBALL manager and brothel enthusiast Avram Grant has the world's finest wife, according to a new survey.

Toyota Urged To Leave Sting's Prius Alone

TOYOTA was last night urged to fix the brakes on more than 250,000 Prius hybrids as quickly as possible, except Sting's.

Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
I have developed strong feelings for a woman I work with but she does not seem to ready to accept our love and is in a permanent state of denial. Although I am always doing romantic things for her, like sending her clumps of my pubic hair through internal mail...

Mobile Phones Now Cleverer Than Teenagers

MOST mobile phones are now more intelligent than their teenage owners, it emerged last night.

Half Of MPs Lie Their Way Out Of Repaying Expenses

HALF of all MPs will be forced to repay expenses while the other half have somehow managed to lie their way out of it, according to a report published today.